tastes like candy canes
by the pharoah
Summary: Dear Journal, did I ever tell about the time I got on the Naughty List by being Santa's helper? Sora/Roxas.


Author's Note: This is a result of reading a crack fic lately, wanting to write something for Christmas, and being on lots and lots of pain killers due to getting my wisdom teeth pulled out. This is a gift fic to all my lovely readers, so enjoy as Sora and Roxas try to find out the answer to the burning question:

Will kissing get you on the naughty list?

* * *

Dear Journal,

Did I ever tell you about the time I got myself on the naughty list by being Santa's helper? Yeah, Santa's real alright, and from personal experience I've seen him holly, jolly, and … well, what's the opposite of that?

Anyways, I remember it like it was yesterday.

I was all bundled up in a Christmas coat with fur-trim and a cap to match. Santa never told me why it was black instead of red. I just guessed red was only worn by Santa. But, why red?

But other than that, it really wasn't so bad. Sure, it was a little embarrassing. Those stockings I had on were really uncomfortable. But knowing I was making those kids happy, knowing those gifts were going to put a smile on their face, made it all worth it.

And there was the fact that I made a good friend out of it.

Let me start at the beginning.

It was a cold and snowy Christmas night. And Santa and I were doing what Santa does best. He says it's not breaking and entering, but something about it just felt a little weird. But I stopped minding so much when I saw all the free cookies that were left for us. Well, they were actually for Santa, but whoever came along for the ride –aka me—got as much cookies as their stomach could handle. I may be kind of on the thin side, but I sure could put it away. It was a little obnoxious.

Everything was going great. Santa was checking his list, and I was checking it twice, and I kind of felt bad for all of the kids on the Naughty List. Except that one kid that was circled in red, and I asked Santa why? And Santa told me. Sorry Journal, but you don't want to know what that kid did.

But then everything changed when Santa broke his back due to some badly—or strategically—placed Christmas decorations.

At first, I thought, hey no big deal, Santa can just put some magic snowflakes on his back and he'd feel better right? Right? But Santa told me magic wasn't medicine. And he was like, "You have to finish off the last of the houses and bring joy to all the girls and boys," and I was determined. I could do this. No sweat. So I lifted that huge bag over my shoulder and jumped into the chimney.

And that's pretty much when I grew to respect Santa for what he did.

The "getting-down-chimneys" part was pretty hard, I'll be honest. I got stuck a few times, got lungs full of soot another time, and got a few splinters. The milk was sour at one house, and at another I knocked over the Christmas tree. There were cracked lights and pine needles everywhere! How could Santa do this, as big and jolly as he was, and I couldn't? I left an 'I'm sorry' note and moved on to the next house. I never did tell Santa about that part either. But, I was sure he knew.

But this is where the story gets interesting. This house was the reason I got on the naughty list.

It all started off normally. I shimmied down the chimney easily. I tip-toed through the living room. I ate the sugar cookies left on the table and set the bag full of presents down beside the snow-frosted tree.

As I reached into the bag and began to disperse of the presents under the tree, there was one present in particular that caught my eye. I knew it was wrong to tamper with the presents, but I couldn't help myself, since I was pretty sure I knew what the gift was underneath all the red and green wrapping paper.

A Keyblade.

I have one that I play with all the time, but this one must have been expensive since it was so heavy. I couldn't help but be a little jealous that this kid had a better one then me. But I bet I'd still win in a duel.

And then I got really curious. Over on the tree were pictures of the family, and I tried to figure out whose gift this was. And that's when I saw him. A picture of a boy with blond hair and a nice smile. Underneath the small picture was his name: Roxas.

Roxas, huh?

I remembered thinking that maybe it wouldn't be a huge deal if I opened the present a teeny-tiny bit. Just to take a peak. And I was about to do it too, until I heard shuffling footsteps and the sound of a person yawning.

And before I could drop the present and _run_, I heard the ever-so-friendly words,

"Who the hell are you?"

I turned around and there was Roxas himself, giving me the most un-Christmas glare I had ever seen. Even on Christmas Eve? Well, I'd probably be kind of annoyed if I woke up in the middle of the night to see what looked like a burglar stealing your presents. Why did I have to be wearing black?

I told him, "I'm just delivering your presents," and held the gift out to him as some sort of peace offering.

"You're not Santa." Well, yeah. "Give me one good reason I shouldn't call the cops."

"Uh, Santa is in a bit of a predicament right now." I told him and I remembered he looked worried. Like I did something to Santa. Like I had him locked in a trunk somewhere. "No, no, he just hurt himself. So I'm delivering the presents tonight, Roxas. How else would I know your name?"

"Uh, well, my pictures on the tree."

So it was.

He asked me, "So who are you then? Jack Frost?" And I laughed. Jack Frost wasn't even real.

So I told him my name. "I'm … an elf, I guess." Shoes with bells, Santa cap, oddly patterned tights. I had the look going for me. But the black soot covering my face and the bright red nose was probably a little odd looking. I told him, "I heard you were on the nice list," and handed him his neatly wrapped gift. "So I brought you this Keyblade."

He took it, still giving him a suspicious look, until I told him I had one of those Keyblades at home too.

He smiled big like he was doing in the picture. "You watch Keyblade Master Riku?" And he wasn't glaring at me anymore. It was pretty nice.

I told him how much I liked the show, and we proceeded to gush about the animation, the story, and who we found to be the most attractive. Roxas preferred Axel, while I found Master Riku to be the hottest animated guy I had ever seen.

And there had been a real bond made there. Nothing said buddies more than gushing over your favorite show with someone.

"Open your present!" I told him, half wanting to see that nice smile of his again, and half wanting to see what kind of awesome Keyblade he must have.

And after tearing open the gift it was revealed that Roxas not only got Oblivion, but he got Oathkeeper as well. Wow, and I only had Kingdom Key. As I'm writing this Journal, I'm glancing over at said Kingdom Key with a sigh. Well, it was the original. That had to count for something.

Anyways, Roxas looked pretty cool holding them and doing a little pose.

I told him, "You must have done something really nice for Santa to get you those."

"Its my first year off the naughty list," he told me with a mischievous glint in his eyes. "I didn't prank my little sister like I did every year. And I remained guy-free. No kissing guys like Seifer behind his house anymore."

I asked him if kissing actually got you on the naughty list? Remember when I wrote about kissing Yuffie as a dare a couple months ago? Was I on the naughty list for that?

And then it hit me. The reason Santa had decided to make me help him with Christmas this year. Because I was on the Naughty List and he didn't want me to know. So that by the time I went home and saw I had no presents, there was nothing there for me to open, and it would be too late. Never mind that Santa was a family friend.

"I always thought so," Roxas told me and I was sulking at this point. Kissing Yuffie hadn't even been worthit.

"I bet I'll have a lump of coal when I get home then."

And then Roxas said it. "Make that two," as he was staring up at the ceiling, and I knew what hung there during Christmas Time. Mistletoe. It had to be. Well, either that or a gigantic spider. But looking up confirmed what I thought. Mistletoe, and a lot of it.

"Looks like we're standing under it."

"Yep," was all Roxas said as he looked down at his swords with longing and sadness. "If I get on the naughty list from kissing you, will these disappear?"

"I don't think that's how it works," I told him. "Besides, I'm Santa's helper. You'll probably get a stocking full of snow globes and candy canes if you kiss me." And he actually did.

I think my cheeks turned bright red—as red as my Santa costume should have been—when Roxas told me how tempting that sounded and set his Keyblades aside.

And I said what any teenaged boy would have said at a time like this. "Experiment time? Does kissing get you on the naughty list?"

And we did what any normal, teenaged boys would do. We tested that theory the only way we knew how. Roxas kissed me in a way that went from nice to naughty with a flick of his tongue and a grope in a very private spot.

And that is how I got myself on the naughty list. No presents that year, even though Santa had informed he I had been on the nice list up until then. But I figured it was worth it.

When I got home, I was treated to a stocking full of coal and a badly wrapped gift of stale cookies and sour milk that I ate. Only because I didn't know the milk was sour and the cookies were stale until after the fact.

I guess I'll never knew if _kissing_ landed you on the naughty list.

But I know going any further, definitely did.

Anyways, I gotta go, Roxas and I are supposed to duel at 4:30, right after a brand new episode of Keyblade Wielder Riku. Till next time, Journal.


End file.
